Funny Santa Banta sms

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?


Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha



Sardar g ne wife ko letter likha.........
is month's salary ke badle 100 kiss bhej raha hu...
Wiffe replie...ap ke 100 kiss mile, doodhwala 2 kiss mai man gaya ,,' sir ko 7 deni padi, sabziwala 7 main nai mana 9 deni padi....' kirane wala sirf kiss se nai mana, maakan malik, to roj 5 ya 6 le jata hai ap chinta na kare mere pass 35 padi hai . or jo yeh par raha hai uuse b 2-4 deni padegi.....baki sab thk hai .....!


Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.


1 DAY SANTA N BANTA WERE STANDING AT 5OTH FLOOR OF A BUILDING
A MAN TOLD SANTA UR SON IS DEAD!!!!!!!!
HEARING THIS SARDAR GI JUMPED FROM 50TH FLOOR
AT 35TH HE REALISE I DONT HAVE A SON
AT 20TH HE REALISE I AM NOT MARRIED
AT 3RD HE REALISE "OH sh*t" ,,, I AM BANTA

Bollywood Funny Dialogues

Dialogues:


1) Baaziger:

"Kuch pane ke liye bhi kuch khona padta hai, aur kuch pa kar khone wale ko
Baziger kehte hain".

Bhaji Ghar:

"Pet bharne ke liye kuch khana padta hai , aur kuch khane ki cheezien
bechne wali jaga ko Bhaji Ghar kehte hain."


2) Mohabbatien:

"Ek ladki thi dewani si , Ek ladke pe woh marti thi , nazren jhuka ke ,
sharma ke , galion se guzrti thi , chori chori chupke chupke chitthiyan
likha karti thi, kuch kehna tha shayad us ko , jane kis se darti thi,jab
bhi milti thi mujh se , mujh se poocha karti thi, yeh pyar kaise hota hai , yeh
pyar kaise hota hai , aur main sirf yahi keh pata tha"

Musebatien:

"Ek ladka tha pagal sa, ek moti pe woh marta tha ,
nazrien chupa ke, dar dar ke , date pe jaya karta tha , kuch kehna tha
sayad us ko , magar us moti se darta tha , jab bhi milta tha bechara mujh
se mujh se poocha karta tha , " main chutkara kaise paoooon, main chutkara
kaise paooon", aur main sirf yahi keh pata tha ("abe to aise lafron main
padta hi kyun hai )"

3) Darr:

"kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk Kiran"

Marr:

woh: "kkkkk" , samne wala: "kya bhai" , woh: "kkkkkkkk", samne wala : "kya
bhai kya ho gaya", woh: "kkkkkkk", samne wale ne thappad laga di, "kya kab
se kkkkkkkkkk kar raha hai be"


4) Kuch Kuch hota hai:

"Pyar dosti hai , agar woh meri sab se acchi dost nahi ban sakti to main us
se pyaar kar hi nahi sakta"


Kuch Kuch Zaroor ho raha hai:

"Date bahaut zaroori hai , agar woh mere saath date par nahi aa sakti , to
main us se pyaar kya pyaar ka abba bhi nahi kar sakta" (Samajhti kya hai
apne aap ko)"

5)Sholay:

"Are oh samba, Kitne admi the re, hahahaha, Jo dar gaya samjho mar gaya"

Tolay:

"Mummmmyyyy, kitne toley hain mere sar main", Mummy : "Jo pakra gaya samjho
mar gaya"


6)Kante:

"Ek din hum sab ko narakh main to jana hi hai , yeh kam karo aur lambi gadi
main jao nahi to pedal"


Chante:

"Ek din hum sab ko date par to jana hi hai , ek kam karo , GF ko bus main
bithao , aur khud jao pedal (Paise bacaho)




7)Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum:

"Parampara Dad, Parampara , pehle aap gaye the phir bhaiya gaye the aur ab
mujhe jana chahiye"

Kabhi tum Kabhi hum:

"Parampara Dad , Parampara, pehle aap date par jate the , phir bhaiya jane
lage , ab main bhi jaooon ga"